Friday, 3 November 2017

The Unwritten Rules of Blogging

If you're a blogger - which I'd imagine you are if you're reading this - you know there's no rules in blogging. The beauty of it is that it's open to everyone and anyone, whether you want it to be purely a hobby or to grow it into a career. However, you've probably noticed there are some unwritten rules.

Nobody really acknowledges them, but they're there. Let's take a look at them, shall we?

Be professional on social media 
Even if your blog is just a hobby, once you start blogging, social media is now your life and you must be wholly professional on it at all times, which includes beginning tweets with 'Dear Sir/Madam' and ending with 'Kind regards'. Avoid posting anything that isn't a #ad, a promotion of your post, or professional interactions with other bloggers and brands. Do not, at any time, post anything personal, such a anecdotes, rants, or any pictures that aren't perfectly posed to Instagram/Pinterest-worthy perfection.

Marble, fairy lights & fake flowers 
Unless you use marble, fairy lights and fake flowers in your photographs^ (together or separately, either is fine), you're not actually a real blogger. Sorry.


Don't be a Twitter bully
This may seem obvious, but be warned: the definition of 'bullying' within the blogging community is not like it is to the rest of the world. A lot of things can constitute as bullying in the blogging world, such as:
Having an opinion
Expressing that opinion
Replying to somebody publicly
Using quote tweets*
DM'ing somebody

There are many other ways, but you'll learn as you go!
*Yes, somebody actually called me out as a "bully" specifically because I used quote tweets. I don't know either...

Daily Instagram moans
On any social media platform, you must publish at least one moan about Instagram. You must complain about the algorithm, lack of interaction, difficulty gaining followers, follow/unfollowers, bots. If you don't, you're not a real blogger. Sorry.

Stats are the most important thing
Talking about Instagram follow/unfollow games and bots, there's actually a good reason for their existence. In fact, feel free to use them yourself; if you continue to complain about them, nobody will know you did it (honest, they won't suspect anything). Statistics are the most important thing in blogging. Once you get to 10K followers, it doesn't even matter if the content you put out is complete shit. It's all about the stats.

Blog Squad
It's mandatory to have a 'blog squad', i.e. a group of bloggers who become your online friends to support you in every way, shape and form; from retweeting your latest posts to defending you in whatever the latest Twitter beef is. From the moment you press publish on your first blog, expect a host of blogging gal pals to descend into your DMs. If this hasn't happened yet well, I'm sorry to break it to you but: you're not a real blogger..

Giveaways
Run giveaways all the time, giveaway anything and everything, it doesn't matter if it's just a load of shit. Got some minuscule sachets of face cream with a recent purchase? Twitter giveaway! Accidentally bought a foundation or concealer in the wrong shade? Give it away in exchange for a follow and a regram, irregardless of the fact that giving away a specific shade excludes hundreds of your followers and is even lowkey a bit racist! Even if you have nothing at all, that doesn't matter. Just run a fake one, nobody will notice - see example here. Giveaways are a sure fire way to get quick views, comments and, most importantly, new followers. Giving back to your readers is not important at all.

This was all supposed to be light hearted, in case you hadn't gathered that! What would you add to the list?

If you want more blogging related posts, check out these: Looking for more 'blogger help' posts? Check out some of these:
  Instagram Growing Tips | The "Source: Pinterest" Mentality | Guide to Flatlay Photos | How to Improve Your Images What I Wish I'd Known As A Newbie Blogger | Cliche "Blogger" Photography Tips That Need To Stop

 
 You can also find me on Bloglovin' Twitter Facebook & Instagram    

^Thanks to Melanie for suggesting this one!
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3 comments

  1. Well, I'm not much of a blogger. I don't have any blogger friends, or fairy lights. I don't have an Olympus Pen or 10k Insta followers. (But I do moan about Instagram a fair bit). I guess I'm out of the group now. Better quit before it becomes embarrassing.

    (But seriously great post, everyone takes everything so seriously now...)

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  2. I was about to write 'bullshit' once I started until I realized the sarcasm here haha nice!

    xo Honey - blog Royal Lifestyle - Twitter - Instagram

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  3. This is hilarious! I loved reading it.

    http://surrealistique.com

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